Life’s most recent experiences have taught me just how much of a selfless act being a Christian really is. I won’t go into detail about some of the curveballs that have been thrown my way (and I mean big ones), but I will say that I have learned some of my greatest lessons.
Simply put: I was betrayed. By an individual that I considered close to me. My natural instincts wanted revenge. It was bad. I wanted to do some things that honestly would’ve put me in jail. I had never felt this way before, and honestly as a Christian I was ashamed that I had allowed such hatred to bury itself within my heart. That Ain’t ME!
Have you ever gone through something and it just keeps replaying over and over again? And each time you get madder and madder. YUP!
NEWS FLASH: ISSA TRAP! A trap of the enemy. He knows that if he gets into your mind and plants a little seed, you will allow it to fester. It will control your thoughts, your emotions, and even your actions. Then you’ll look up and a whole day was wasted. Angry and upset. You got nothing done.
I knew that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do and that made me even angrier. Frustrated and upset, I turned to the only help I’ve always known. Christ. He told me that I had to release my selfish desires and replace them with his love. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to hear it. I wanted him to do my dirty work, and I wanted him to do it right away. But that’s not how Christ operates. Vengeance is his, but his love is greater.
That’s how flesh operates. In anger, in revenge. And honestly it can feel good. Operating in the flesh feels good, which is why it is so difficult to choose the spirit. But we know that following the flesh leads to ultimate doom.
What I learned? Christianity is a constant act of selflessness. It takes effort. Each and every day. I used to be under the impression that over time being a Christian would be easy. But it’s not. I’ve been saved since I was six and it’s still difficult. Every day involves a constant shedding of my flesh. Every moment, and every encounter requires me put ME to the side and show CHRIST. It’s like choosing between the good angel and the devil that sit on both of your shoulders.
As Christians we are supposed to be a light unto the world. We are called to be an example. Living in flesh won’t allow you to do that.
So I chose Him, and allowed Him to take over. His supernatural love took over my heart and healed each broken piece. It felt so much better than letting my flesh win.
Life is hard. Being an adult is difficult and without the supernatural love of Christ, agape, everyday is honestly an impossible feat to conquer. Living without Christ forces you to find happiness and love in people. You will constantly feel the need to surround yourself with people for true happiness. But people falter. The love of Christ is impenetrable.
On the cross Christ shed himself for me. He didn’t want to suffer. He didn’t want to die, but he knew he had to. He knew his purpose, and he chose God’s love for me. He showed the ultimate act of selflessness, he died for me. And he would do it all over again, just for me.
So I vow to be selfless. Everyday I will make a conscious effort to shed Aviance. I know that I will fail sometimes, many times, but I will try.